To my lovely husband, martyr Rami Ayyad

“I tell you I love you… and I will love you forever.”

I remember, my love, what a sincere husband you were… loving…kind…passionate…I remember your kind heart and sweet words…your joyful laughs… I remember your love to me, and how kind you were to me… how you always took the initiative to reconcile with me after a misunderstanding, and even when I was the one to blame, you were the one to say sorry. I remember you standing always beside me in my difficult times... you were so compassionate toward my feelings and needs.

I remember your commitment to your house, duties, and children… how much you loved the boys and used to sacrifice for them.

My lover Rami, your memory will always remain in my heart, thought and mind…

Your children will know that they only physically lost you. I will tell them how great you were and will remind them what you used to do to them, how kind you were to them. I will never stop mentioning those memories, never.

I will tell George: George, you used to love sleeping on your dad’s chest, and you always waited anxiously for dad to come back from work. Whenever someone knocked on the door you cried: Rami… Rami… and then you used to run to him and he would carry you and cuddle you… I will also tell George that his dad was so happy when he took him to school on the first day, although it was a preschool, and Rami only lived to see George for one month going to that school”… I will tell George how excited his dad was when his birthday was approaching, and how he started to plan for it months before… George, you would always sit in your dad’s lap, even when we got into the taxi, you would never leave his lap…

As for you Wissam, Rami loved you as well so much, and you would also sleep on your dad’s chest...

I will always remind your children of you… how you got up early every morning and prepared their school bags, how you waited with them outside the house until the car came and took them to preschool. Rami, I will tell the children how precise you were on raising them up in a way that you were not just a father, but also a friend.

As for you Sama… it is enough that your name carries the symbol of where your dad is: “Heaven.” I have given you this name in memory of him…

Be proud, my children, of your father. You have not lost him forever… he sacrificed his life for you, children, so that you never feel shame as you would if he had given in. He was thinking about Jesus as well during those difficult hours… I must confess that Jesus was his true love before me and you…

I will walk your path, Rami… I will raise the children the exact way you wanted me to.

Rami is a believer who loved God from his heart. The Bible was printed in his heart, not by word only, but by act he proclaimed it… I remember how you told me that you will never deny your faith, no matter what happens… I remember how committed you were to your ministry…

I know we will meet again... me, you and the children. How much I miss and look forward to that day, the day when we are all together with Jesus our God. Goodbye, my lovely husband… goodbye, martyr… goodbye, you who have made me proud and made our children proud as well… goodbye, you who have made your church and family proud… goodbye, you who have made all Christians proud… you are a model that we will all follow…

Your wife,
Pauline